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I’ll be blogging this but you get it first:

Is inner peace our birthright? Do we have an inherent right to inner peace simply because we exist? I don’t know if it is our birthright or not, but I can tell you this: peace is one of the attributes I request the most, particularly in the last 8 years.

And I know why I request this attribute. It’s because I believe I can’t do my work effectively if I am not at peace. This belief is the reason why self care is so important to me. If I want to be effective in the work I do in the world, I must be at peace.

Plus there’s that pesky little law of attraction that tells me I attract what I am. Which I believe to be true as well.

So I strive for peace when I don’t have it. When something pisses me off, I retreat to my cave to restore myself. That’s my first stop in self care. The next stop is processing: what am I feeling, allowing those feelings, expressing them in appropriate ways to allow them to move on out of here, then replacing those feelings with ones that once again allow me to go out into the world and do what is mine to do, effectively.

Repeat as necessary. And yes, it’s been necessary a lot since 2016. A lot.

But what if who I am, by nature of my birthright, means I can’t even begin to expect to be peaceful in this world? What if, by virtue of the color of my skin, I am faced with things that piss me off on a daily basis? On an hourly basis? How might that affect my beliefs? If I were a person of color, would peace even be on my list of things to do? Most likely not. Most likely I’d be more concerned with survival. Simple survival. Except it isn’t that simple. Simply walking out the door means, if you are a person of color, that you are entering a war zone. A place where you must constantly be on guard.

I know only a little of what that is like. As a woman, I know to be aware of my surroundings, to practice situational awareness. I know to always check the back seat of my car before getting into it. I know to always have some sort of weapon handy and to know how to use said weapon. I know some very basic defense moves. I am very aware that in a world in which many men think that women are second class citizens, I am considered prey by those men. Yeah, like most prey animals, I’m a little jumpy, especially when someone who thinks it’s ok to grab women by the pussy gets elected. When a predator gets elected. Which, if you haven’t connected the dots by now, is why it’s been necessary for me to repeat my little peace process since 2016. It’s when that pussy grabber got elected.

Why does this threaten me so much? Because we tend to emulate our leaders. This guy gets elected, and all of a sudden people have overt permission to behave as this guy behaves. They have permission to be bullies, to grope women, to belittle physically challenged people, to be judgmental, to use violence against people who disagree with them, to use more violence if they don’t get their way, to seek revenge, to carry the distorted and hateful message of white Christian nationalism. All of a sudden, the world is filled with people like this. They used to hide in the shadows. With that one election, all of a sudden they are coming out of the woodwork like super-cockroaches, no longer hiding in the dark but boldly standing in the light of day.

It’s no wonder I’m a bit jumpy. A bit prickly.

Now, if I were a different person, I would retaliate in kind. But I’m not. I’m a spiritual person. I live, breathe and move in spirituality. I believe in the power of unconditional love to heal all things. Oh, don’t get me wrong, if some bully threatens me I can and will defend myself; I have in the past and will do so again. By the way, those of you who think women should dress down so they don’t cause men to behave in inappropriate ways? Shame on you. Those of you who think boys will be boys? No. Teach those boys some respect, not that they have the right to accost a woman because she is dressed in a certain way. Those of you who think women who sleep around are sluts but men who do so are manly? Shame on you too. Those of you who think men are the head of the household? Nope. Not buying that one either. That one came from fragile men distorting the message of Jesus so they could shore up their delicate and large egos. And here I am, angry again. Yeah, prickly.

Let me try this again. Back to love. Breathing. Back to love. Ok, that’s better.

I believe in non-judgment, knowing that judging others ultimately hurts me more than anything else. I believe in forgiveness. I know the futility of attempting revenge and how opposite such a principle is to all of my beliefs. I know and believe in the concept of Oneness, and that it is thus my job to be peace and love as much as I can, because what I do and how I show up in the world does effect others. And quite frankly I’d rather affect them with love and peace than with bullying and judgment and revenge.

But the basic question remains, and is one I’ve been returning to: I’m white. I’m privileged because I don’t have to struggle to survive on a daily basis. The ism I experience is much more subtle than the ism people of color experience. They get blatant attempts on their very lives. I saw a postcard the other day that showed about a dozen black people, all dead, hanging from trees. A postcard! This morning I saw a video in which some white guy was talking about being white meant to be both a savior and a conqueror. He talked about white America and said this country was designed for them. And I got FURIOUS hearing that bullshit. That utter nonsense. The arrogance!

And I expressed my anger and a person who I respect responded to my comment with this quote from James Baldwin:

"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time."

Yeah. So I’m privileged. I’m not in a rage most of the time. Only part of the time.

And yeah, self care is a big fat hairy deal. Because we can’t go out in the world and expect to do effective work if we are angry.

So this is what I am up to now. Self care and social justice. The two go hand in hand. We cannot do our work effectively in this world unless we care for ourselves first.

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As we approach the end of one year and the beginning of another, I believe it to be quite natural that we turn to a bit of reminiscing and review, along with contemplation and setting of intentions.  

For me, on the outside, 2023 was filled with 9 talks, 5 workshops and 45 weddings.  My podcast had 368 downloads last year, and I produced 10 new episodes in 2023.  I also had the privilege of serving another community as Interim Minister, wrapping up that assignment in June. 

I entered my first shooting competition this year and won a prize!  

I spent six months in 2023 venturing into the world of online dating.  I went on a lot of dates, met a lot of interesting people, and learned that I am no longer willing to settle.  Still single over here and happy with that.

I have been working on my third book for a couple of years now and quite frankly, I was stuck.  The book began life as a daily reader and it just wasn’t coming out.  I had an epiphany while cleaning the horses’s stalls one day, and realized I needed to change the focus and emphasis of the book.  A few edits and tweaks later and now the book is coming along nicely.  It will be called “How to Live Fearlessly Feral” and will be a deep dive into spiritual practices and principles.  Complete with monthly recommendations for leaning into, embodying and applying a different practice and principle each month.  It will have four main sections, and I’m happy to report the first three sections are complete!  

I think my greatest accomplishment this year has been in horseback riding.  I got diagnosed with PTSD when I got sober at 32 years old, and while I have experienced years of symptom free living it reared its head after a series of major changes and it has affected my horse back riding more than anything else.  And no, it has nothing to do with the horse and everything to do with PTSD.  I had symptoms in other areas as well, but they were strongest with the horses back riding.  With the patient and excellent work of an equine coach, I have been able to progress to the point where I am once again enjoying riding.  I’ve gone from not being able to even get on to being able to ride again with joy.  And that is wonderful.

One cannot do spiritual practices on a daily basis without having inner shifts and I experienced several of those.  I am grateful for all of them and today I live life more confident and feeling whole.  And I am grateful for that as well.   

Now comes to good part:  creation of 2024.  And here is where we leave the past behind.  We move forward into the future and use the practices of self awareness, connection, contemplation and setting of intentions to create what we want to create in the coming year.  Meditation is good for clarity if you are unsure as to what you want life to look like in this coming year.  Those practices exist for a reason and you can use them to your benefit.

This is the beauty of this teaching called New Thought.  We are at choice.  We are powerful.  In fact, another name for New Thought is Liberation Theology and I love that!  Use those spiritual practices.  Do them consistently and persistently and watch your life become liberated from limitations like fear and shame and guilt and all that other nasty stuff.  Do those spiritual practices persistently and consistently and watch your ability to create grow.  

We create by being at peace with the old and being able to leave it behind.  This creates a void, and we use spiritual practices to decide what we want to create.  I mentioned them already.  Self awareness, connection, contemplation and setting of intentions.

None of this New Year’s resolutions stuff.

By the way, those spiritual practices I keep mentioning?  They come in handy in other ways as well.  Yes, we have power.  Yes, we are at choice.  But none of what we teach guarantees that shit won’t happen.  It can and it does.  And it does so not because we thought it into existence.  Sometimes shit just happens.  Don’t go all shame based and blame yourself because shit happened.  That’s where our power comes in.  

Back to the future (see what I did there?). We get to set things up the way we want to set them up. Mary Oliver asked, “what is it you want to do with your one wild and crazy life?”  When you know the answer to that, also know that you can create that.

On tap for 2024:  publication of my third book, continued podcasting, giving talks and doing workshops.  More horse back riding, more competitive shooting. More speaking out against Christian nationalism, racism, misogyny, and politicians who believe in those things, including and especially that orange menace that is threatening our very democracy.  I have some exciting things on tap for 2024 and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!

This is the perfect time of year to begin anew.  To release the past with gratitude and forgiveness, if necessary, and to start fresh with new ideas and dreams, knowing you have within you a power that you can use.  I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds for you as well.

And I leave you with this quote by Hunter S. Thompson:  "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to slide across the finish line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, and shouting GERONIMO!!!" 

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“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” Walter Bagehot

I love this quote. I love doing what people say I cannot do. I’ve been doing it a long time. In fact, I have a little physical emoji of a can that says “I can!” I suspect this thing was made to be one of those pins you stick on your lapel but since I wear very little jewelry and no accessories, this little can is now stuck in the wall in my bathroom where I can see it regularly.

I was thinking about this quote today and realized that it isn’t just people who tell us what we can and can not do, It is also ourselves. We all have those little inner voices that chatter away in the background, telling us “you can’t do that!”

But that isn’t true. We can. It sometimes takes a bit of work. It sometimes takes a change in what we believe to be true about ourselves. For example, do you believe that after you reach a certain age you can’t do certain things? Why do you believe that? Is it because someone told you? It is because the adults in your life modeled it for you? I was lucky, I had a dad who water skied and played professional trumpet till he was in his 80s. Then he retired and hit the road in a motorhome. He modeled for me that we do not have to believe what others, or ourselves, tell us about our age.

We are only as old as we make up our minds to be.

This is just one example of examining our thoughts and beliefs to discover what we believe about a thing, and then asking if it is really true. Or did we just assume it to be true?

Here’s the truth: you can be and do anything you wish. Period. Don’t let the naysayers, whether they are in your own mind or in the minds of others, tell you what you can and cannot do.

You can be and do anything you wish.

#fearlesslyferal

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There is a Force in the universe that is everywhere present.  I suspect you may agree with me on that, even if you call It a different name.  I love the omnipresent feature of Spirit, because if It is truly everywhere present, It is also within me. From the teachings of Science of Mind and from other teachings, I have discerned that this truth has much greater ramifications than simply God is within me.  It also means that God is AS ME.  In fact, I like to think that, as human beings, we are the way that God shows up in the world.  We are God’s opportunity to speak.  I believe that this is what it means when the Bible says we are children of God.  If this is true, then we have both a gift and a responsibility.  The gift is that with God as us, we have all the power and love and joy that God has.  This has great potential for being able to live our lives successfully, with joy and peace.  It is truly a great gift.  The responsibility is that, with God as us, we need to act like it and not allow our fearful humanness to get in the way.  Here is where we can take the love, power, strength, joy, beauty and peace that is attributed to Spirit and make it ours.  If we all live as if we truly believe that we are physical manifestations of God, imagine how wonderful things would be!  So today I sink into the gratitude I feel for this wonderful truth, that God is such a part of me that I have all the power and love and of God as a part of me as well, and today I walk in power and strength, I have unconditional love for myself and others, I feel and appreciate the beauty and joy of life, and I feel at peace.  I am One.

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Henry David Thoreau once said, “if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

Do you have dreams? If not, why not? A good spiritual practice is to sit down and figure out what your dreams are for your life. And I have news for you: always have a dream. Because when we have a dream, the universe conspires for it to happen. Once we discern our dream, there is a giant YES there and everything that happens from that point onward is simply another step to achieving that dream. Sometimes it may not look that way. Have you ever heard that old adage about not praying for patience because you will get something to be patient about? Yeah, that. Just keep going. Handle whatever comes up with dignity and grace and keep moving confidently in the direction of your dream.

What if you have a dream, but you don’t think it is possible to achieve it? Dreams are nice, you might think, but they are just dreams. Not true. There are a lot of definitions for the word dream, but I prefer this one: an aspiration or a goal. Yes, dreams do come true. If you don’t think it is possible to achieve your dream, start there. Why do you not think it possible?

And if you do not have the confidence to advance in the direction of your dream, that is the place to begin.

Ultimately, dreams are good stuff. We have an idea or a dream, and the yes is always there, waiting for our participation in achieving it.

Today, I confidently advance in the direction of my dream.

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Quotes for today that are tickling my fancy:

Alan Watts: “If we cling to a belief in god, we cannot likewise have faith, since faith is not clinging but letting go.”

Joseph Campbell: “… to worship a god, you must become that god. No matter what you call the god or think it is, the god you worship is the one you are capable of becoming. The power of a deity is that it personifies a power that is in Nature and in your nature. When you find that level, then you are in play. That is the work of art in general, because art really is a worship.”

Me, yesterday, in conversation with a friend: “instead of going with the flow, I want to take it deeper. I want to TRUST the flow.” Because trusting the flow means I can truly let go. Sometimes, when I’m just going with the flow, I’m still attempting to control or manipulate it. Truly letting go takes trust. Which then means I must explore what it is I am trusting.

Then there is this, from Obi Wan Kenobi: “The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together.”

The Force is, for me, what god is.

And lest you scoff at me quoting fictional movie characters, I’ll just say that the creator of Star Wars, George Lucas, studied Science of Mind. It is my personal opinion that the concepts in the Star Wars movies are great illustrations of this wonderful teaching that has so effectively allowed me to live an even greater life than I ever imagined.

So here I am, trusting, embodying, having faith instead of belief. Asking myself, what does that look like in every day life? It is an interesting exercise in self reflection. If I trust, then I must also accept. Oh, and here’s another comment, made by me when asked by my horse trainer/equine therapist, as she does after every lesson “what did you learn today?”: “allow but continue on.”

This means I must allow what is happening (which for me means I don’t resist it, judge it, try to manipulate it, or attempt to control it) but also continue on with my mission in life. Whether that mission is to continue the horse back ride or to continue doing my minister work in the world or continue doing the laundry or continue to know the good for myself and others. I must allow but also continue on. And that takes trust, and embodying, and having faith.

Such are my thoughts today as I move out into the world to get a massage and do a wedding. And see the completion of the derockifying of my riding trail. WEEHAW! Can’t wait to ride on it!

Today I trust, embody the good, and have faith. Oh, and I play today. And because I also want to play a bit, because play is always a part of things in my life, I’m going to include an oldie but a goodie meme I made three years ago. Because it takes trust, embodiment and faith to do things that are considered crazy, delusional and ambitious. And that, my friends, is what a life looks like when one lives in trust, embodiment and faith.

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Jeff Anderson:  "It's the nature of things to orbit!"

Ernest Holmes:  "Every person should take time for this inner communion..."

I believe there are stages in life, and I also believe that we need to honor those stages.  In doing so, we honor ourselves.  I used to be a highly social person...I fed off of social situations and enjoyed them immensely.  I was ok being alone, but given a choice of a night with people, no matter what we were doing, or a night at home alone, I chose to be with people.  Now....given that same choice, I will usually choose to be at home alone.  I still enjoy social situations, and I work with the public and love them believe it or not.  But I have these urges that say, "let's just stay home."  I believe this to be a stage.  I don't know how long it will last, nor do I care.  What I do know is that my job is to listen to my inner callings, and honor them.  In doing so, I respect and honor my personal journey through life.  I am not recommending that you stay home and sleep or eat junk food, especially if you are in a depression.  What I am recommending is more of a personal self awareness practice so that you can know your own truth and honor it.  Be kind to yourself.  Above all, be kind to yourself.  You are the one who gets to determine whether being kind to yourself means staying home, or going out.  Know thyself is the message of today's reading.  What do you do to know thyself?

Affirmation:  Today I take time to know myself, and to honor and respect myself.

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It’s 2023. Personally, I believe that what I am experiencing is similar to what many others are experiencing. It’s a combination of a desire to move into the new, into what wants to be born, coupled with a sort of hesitancy. I’ve heard people use words like cautiously and slowly when they are describing their re-entry into society.

In this post covid world, things are different. Much has been lost, which means of course, that there is a lot of opportunity to create something new.

For me, I am feeling as if I am on the cusp of some very new ways of showing up in the world. I’ve come to realize I’ve been immersed in a huge dark night of the soul the last few years. And I’m just coming out of it. This is the time when I can do any needed forgiveness work, acknowledge with gratitude what has happened, decide how I wish to show up in the world, and then create.

That’s a simplistic description of course, but basically that covers it.

I think the key here is to be gentle and compassionate with one’s self. This is the ultimate in self care, and with Valentine’s Day being tomorrow, I think it is the perfect time to be in self care mode.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, and that you take good care of yourself.

What if wishes really could come true? Check this out!
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I found the turkey wishbone this morning. 

Which immediately reminded me of that old saying, something about if wishes were fishes. So I googled it. (Don’t you just love google?). Here’s what came up: “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride" is a proverb and nursery rhyme, first recorded about 1628 in a collection of Scottish proverbs, which suggests if wishing could make things happen, then even the most destitute people would have everything they wanted.” And then this was also there: “K.C. Jones says when someone would wish for something, it used to be cute to reply: ‘And if wishes were fishes we'd have some fried; And if wishes were horses, beggars might ride.’ "

And this led me to a story I would like to share with you. Because there’s a way to do more than wish. There’s a way to have those wishes come true.

First of all, a bit of history:  my mom was the one who taught me about the wishbone in the turkey.  She would clean those wishbones and stash them someplace until they dried out, then proudly produce one, ask me to pull one end while she held the other end, and if it broke off in my favor, I got to make a wish.  Somehow she managed to arrange it so that it always broke off in my favor.  At least that’s the way I remember it.

Anyway, today is the day after thanksgiving and I am now prepping for annual round of turkey soup and turkey noodle casserole and of course, turkey sandwiches.  And I found the wishbone.

I also had a question posed to me a few days ago by a wise friend, upon learning that it was my birthday.  He asked, “so what are your intentions for this next trip around the sun?”

Now, my wise friend is a Science of Mind minister, like me, so I knew precisely what he was asking.  Because in our world, we know that a setting of an intention is actually an affirmative prayer.  And as I voiced to him my intentions, which I had previously voiced to no one else, I asked myself if I was really ready for this?  Because in my world, this setting of intentions stuff is powerful.  And the answer came back, yeah, I’m ready.  Also in our world:  our prayers tend to be of the affirmation type, not the beseeching type.  In other words, we don’t ask a god or the universe or whatever outside of ourselves to please do this for us.  We instead know that as we are, as Ernest Holmes put it, unique and individualized manifestations of god, we can simply speak our word and know.

We actually have a formulaic 5 step prayer for this stuff.  Yep, an affirmative prayer.  

Not a wish.  Not a goal.  Not a resolution.  But an intention.  There are very real differences between these things, which, by the way, is why I don’t do new year’s resolutions.

Back to the prayer:  

Here’s that 5 step affirmative prayer in a nutshell:  God is, I Am, It is done, Thanks, Bye!

Now, because I’ve been doing affirmative prayer since god was a child, I can do the shortened version of this thing and put feeling behind it and know.  

But let me break it down a bit.

In Science of Mind classes, we are given an acronym for this formula.  By the way, this is basic foundational Science of Mind stuff and it is taught in all beginning classes, because everything else basically builds upon affirmative prayer. Oh, and while I’m here, we sometimes call affirmative prayer “treatment.” So if you ever experience a Science of Mind person asking you if you have a treatment request, what they are really asking you is if you have an affirmative prayer request.

So here we go:  

R U R T R?

Are You Ready to Receive?

Five steps.

The first one is Recognition.  I recognize God.  Now, you can flesh out this step in whatever way appeals to you.  The key here is to move into a feeling space with it. This isn’t just intellectual heady stuff.  Thought plus feeling equals power and when we do an affirmative prayer, we begin with this first step recognizing the existence of a god in whatever form, and we begin to feel stuff by doing that.  I tend to flesh out this step with things like God is all good, all the time.  I might add some qualities of spirit as we like to call them.  God is love, god is power, god is peace, god is joy.  And for good measure, I usually add that god is everywhere present.

Which leads me to the next step:  Unification.  God and I, we are one.  Oneness.  No separation between me and god.  I usually have some fun with this step.  I am a godling.  A little godling running around on this earth. Notice the first person singular by the way.  And if you don’t know what that is, review your grammar class but basically we do this stuff in I statements. Not you and not we.  There’s reasons for this which could get me way off track so I won’t go into them now.  Just speak in I statements.  If you are curious and want more, take the Foundations class.  Let me know.  I can offer that one.  Anyway, back to the unification:  I am a unique and individualized manifestation of spirit.  (That’s from Ernest Holmes by the way).  God is living and moving and breathing as and in and through me.  And one of my other favorites, I am a drop in the ocean, god is the ocean.  The key is to realize here that there is no separation between us.  There isn’t a god out there.  Only in here.

Next step:  Realization.  This is a fun one.  I love love love this step.  Because in this step I get to affirm and know and feel as if it is already true.  So we state this step in the present tense (see comment about grammar), as if it is already happening.  And we get to state how we are feeling about this event.  So we don’t necessarily affirm the event, we affirm the feelings we will have when the event comes true.  As an example, I’m going to out myself here and give you one of the intentions I stated to my friend when he asked.  You are the second to hear my intention for this next year.  My intention this year is to manifest a healthy, equal, romantic relationship with a wonderful partner who is open, loving, kind and has similar beliefs to me.  Now, that’s pretty specific.  And no, I don’t and won’t outline that in my prayer.  But I do have it mind because those things lead me to the feelings I will get when this comes true:  peace, joy, a sense of companionship, intimacy.  So in reality I am affirming those feelings. My prayer is for those feelings to manifest within me. The rest of it, the manifestation of the perfect guy in my life at the perfect time, well let’s just say I am now in partnership with a Law that always says yes to my word.  How I get there isn’t entirely up to me, although I do have some footwork to do.  Like BE the partner I wish to attract. Which means I get to also BE open, loving, kind.  And I get to really know what my beliefs are.  So when I BE these things, I activate the law of attraction that Ernest Holmes speaks of in an ENTIRE CHAPTER in the Science of Mind textbook.  So, I affirm the feelings.  I BE the qualities.  Notice there is no other action that needs to be taken. Although I will freely admit that sometimes I do find it necessary to do some footwork.  For example, I need to work on just how open and loving I really am.  Yeah, when we affirm this stuff, the first thing that usually happens is that opportunities will arise for us to take care of our own shit.  Which is why I asked myself if I was truly ready to affirm this intention.  I knew what I was setting myself up for.  It’s good.  It’s ok.  I’m ready.

Then I give thanks.  Express my gratitude.  Because it is already done in the Law, that delights in doing precisely what I affirm, every single time.  

Then I release into that Law, which basically means I let it go.  It is done.  I need do nothing more with it.  As Eddie Watkins Jr. sings in one of his songs, you don’t bury a seed then dig it up again to see if it is sprouting.   I leave it be.

And anchor:  and so it is!

That’s it!  

That’s the story of how I got from a wishbone to an affirmative prayer.

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I remember the aha moment I had when Kim Kaiser, then Dean of Holmes Institute, said this to me. I had been reporting to him all the losses I had experienced, and how well I was coping with them. And he said, “Karen, metaphysics does not operate at the level of making lemonade out of lemons.” And for the first time ever, I realized that I did not need to lemons to get the lemonade. I didn’t need loss and change and icky stuff in order to experience good in my life. I could just, simply, willy nilly, experience the good! What a concept! Except it wasn’t that simple. Because in order for me to do that I had to have an inner shift in consciousness. I had to change my belief that one succeeded in life due to how well one coped with loss and change. I had to change my belief that I really wasn’t worthy of simply experiencing my good, just because. So I went to work on changing that belief. Today, I know and feel I can just simply experience my good. But once in a while a reminder is good.