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"When they go low, we go high."  Michelle Obama

I loved it when Michelle Obama said this.  It made me feel proud of my leaders.  It gave me a little bit of hope in a time of hopelessness, and little bit of relief from hateful rhetoric.

How ironic that I have found myself on the receiving end of someone saying, "when you go low, I go high."

That I have been so misunderstood makes me sad...and angry.

I think I have pretty good communication skills.  I've been told I do.  I think I've communicated fairly well in this situation.  Somehow I think it is not that the person on the other end doesn't hear, I think it is that person doesn't WANT to hear.

More sadness, and anger, and the loss of a relationship that could have moved into a higher level and instead has disintegrated into nothingness, because I grow weary of being accused of negativity in every interaction, whether it is written or spoken.

It is during times like these that I think about my values, and principles that carry me when personalities would attempt to shatter everything I stand for.

One of those principles is oneness.  I saw the separation during and even now, after this most recent election.  I saw the rhetoric from both sides.  And I also saw the beginnings of a solution, from some people whose opinions I highly value.  People who spoke of the principle of oneness.  Meaning that there is no us and them.  That we are all connected on deep levels.  Meaning that when we hurt another, we are also hurting ourselves.  These same people called for communication, for listening on a deep level.  They called for a listening to the cries of the folks who "went low."  I've listened to some of those folks.  I've discovered that they are not going low.  They want change.  The status quo is no longer acceptable.  Yes, it is a shame that the current representative of change couches his language in hatred and shaming and demeaning.  But we are stIll one.

And so, being on the receiving end of someone who says they are going high...well, I am like those conservative folks who just want to be heard.  And not be accused of going low.  And so I speak, and will continue to do so, in the way I've always spoken, with gentleness but firmness.  I won't attack, because I recognize that is only a reaction to fear.  I just speak the truth, quietly and firmly, and then I stand by it.  And when the other party refuses to hear, and attacks in their fear, I pray.  Yep...I pray.  I pray for them.  Because of oneness.  Because when I pray for them, I'm praying for me too.

There are other principles and values that I stand for, but they tell me blogs are supposed to be short.  So I end it here.


All around me people are announcing that mercury is in retrograde.  Admittedly, I'm not hearing  these announcements, I'm seeing them in print.  But the impression I am getting is that if they were saying this, it would be said with the same feeling tone as that old ditty:  "THE SKY IS FALLING!  THE SKY IS FALLING!"

I wasn't sure why, so I looked it up.  Now I know why I didn't know what it meant that mercury was in retrograde:  it's astrology.

Now, before you think this is going to be an attack on astrology, it isn't.  I think the human habit of attacking something we don't believe in or disagree with is abhorrent.  But that is the subject for another blog post.

I've never been a fan of astrology, even though I know a lot of people who are.  Here is why I've never been a fan of it:  because it is one more example of basing our decisions on something outside of ourselves.  I feel the same way about anything that tells us to ignore our own truth and instead follow the dictates of another.  Traditional religion as it is currently taught does this.  So does most of the New Age stuff.  I love New Thought because it teaches us to go within, know our own truth, and proceed accordingly.  And by the way, I love candles, scented oils, and even crystals and all sorts of other New Age gimmicks.  But I'm not going to base my decisions on them.  They are just nice things.  And sometimes excellent reminders of my own truth, which I discovered by going within.

Back to this current retrograde Mercury thing.  Instead of just ignoring it, I decided to ask, what is it all about?  And got this link for an answer:

I read the article.  Seems we aren't supposed to make important decisions, sign contracts or have elective surgery during this time.

Sigh.  Really?  Ok.  Here's the deal about important decisions:  I know that I shouldn't be making them under duress.  In other words, don't make decisions when angry, grieving, sad or excited.  Settle down, go within, meditate, know your truth.  Then make the decision.

Here's the deal about contracts:  If it is time to sign a contract, I am certainly not going to tell the other person involved in the deal that I need to wait until mercury is out of retrograde to sign it.

And I don't believe in elective surgery, so that is a no brainer for me.

My point here is this:  We have an entire culture of people who seem to base who and what they are on outside things.  Everything from doing what your peers do to blindly  following religious dogma to allowing what the planets are doing to effect your life.   I love the empowering message of New Thought:  go within...find that part of yourself that knows...and be and do that.

Everything I do, from my ministry to my counseling, from workshops and retreats to my book ( is a variation on this one thing:  I teach people tools that they can then use to go within and find their own truth.

Bottom line:  I'm not going to base my life on someone else's interpretation of something outside myself, including whether or not mercury is in retrograde.  How about you?

Perhaps you were a bit like me growing up:  you started wondering what you were going to do for a living.  And perhaps you had parents like mine, who responded the same way to every idea I had:  "You can't make any money in that."  And maybe....just me, you wondered if money was the only important consideration in choosing a career.

I pondered that, and somehow, without being coached, I knew that not only was money not an important consideration in choosing a career, it barely made the list.  What was important was that I enjoyed my work.  It has never made sense to me to spend 8 plus hours a day, 5 days a week, doing something I didn't enjoy just to bring home a paycheck.  Later on I learned that somehow I had figured out one of life's big truths:  we need to be doing what we love, or we fall prey to all sorts of misery:  chronic illness, fatigue, depression.

And, like one of my favorite all time quotes, I also knew that if I built it, they would come.  Because the Law of Attraction is always in place.

What do you long for?  What calls to your spirit?  If it is calling, there is a way to earn a good living from it.  Explore that, and don't be afraid to jump in.  Remember that what you focus on tends to manifest, so don't focus on what you don't want.  Dream big, and focus on that.

I can help you dial it in.  Contact me for information on business coaching.


"Pursue the obstacle. It will set you free."  Mark Nepo

Do you have an obstacle in your life?  Something that seems to block your way no matter which way you turn?

I'm not speaking of an outer obstacle here, although if outer obstacles keep appearing that can be an indicator that something in your life needs to change.  But for this post I am referring to inner obstacles.

Maybe a fear that keeps you from taking that next indicated right step.  Or stubbornness.  I'm sure you are familiar with this:  you know a change in thinking would be the best thing, but you stubbornly refuse to make the change...just because.  Or maybe it is anxiety.  The thought of doing something makes you short of breath.

These are the obstacles to which I am referring.

What Mark Nepo is suggesting with his quote is that instead of trying to get rid of the obstacle, or attempting to block it somehow, we pursue it.  He clarifies, in his book titled "The Book of Awakening:" "we are asked not to oppose what blocks us as something mounting its will against our own. For the obstacle will simply give our resistance back to us. We are being asked not to empower or perpetuate the life of the obstacle, but to step aside if we can with openness to the energy of the obstacle—much like the ancient art of Aikido, where instead of blocking a punch, you help the punch move past you."

How could this be done?  Nepo suggests that we describe the obstacle as a part of nature.  Sort of like the deer in the headlights. And then ask ourselves how is what we want or need colliding with what it wants or needs?

When we go within and get in touch with our inner wisdom, the answers will come.  The obstacle isn't really an obstacle.  It's a doorway.  Open the door.

I now have some openings to help you move beyond your inner obstacles.  Contact me now for more information! [contact-form][contact-field label='Name' type='name' required='1'/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]