Skip to content

imageWhat does this phrase mean to you?

It's an inside job.

I found myself wondering where the phrase came from so I did a search.  While there are many references to the phrase, mostly for books and songs, here's what Wikipedia has to say, "An inside job is a crime, usually larceny, robbery or embezzlement, committed by a person with a position of trust who is authorized to access a location or procedure with little or no supervision, e.g., a key employee or manager. The perpetrator can also be a former employee who still has specialized knowledge necessary to facilitate the crime."


All humor aside, the phrase really means that everything in our lives begins within us.

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."
- Frank Outlaw

What this statement really boils down to is that if we have a situation in our life which does not please us, or which we would like to change, the place to begin is inside....with our thoughts.

It does little good, and has little lasting effect, to try and change things from the outside.  And the outside stuff is temporary at best, always changing.  It is better to be more involved with what is going on inside of you and less attached to the outside.

In this culture, where we are taught to place more importance on appearances than on how we feel, this is sometimes a difficult task.  I work with many people who find it extremely difficult to know what they are feeling and thinking.

However, it is imperative to begin at this level.  Consider this formula:  thoughts plus feelings equal power.  When we think something with emotion behind it, we put power into it.  And when we put power into it, we tend to manifest what we are thinking about.

So watch your thoughts.  Change them if necessary.  Watch your feelings.  Focus on the thoughts and feelings you enjoy.  Then watch enjoyable things happen in your life.



"Our stories are the stairs that lead us to the stars."  Donovan Livingston, said during his 2016 Harvard Graduate School commencement speech

This young man moved me with his commencement speech.  Such wisdom at such a young age!

I do not advocate living in the past, nor do I think it wise or helpful to base current beliefs, thoughts or actions on things that happened in the past.  I do, however, think it is a good idea to take a look at our past to glean the nuggets that would allow us to live in freedom, joy and happiness.

We've all got stories.  All of us.  We are at choice as to how much we wish to allow those stories to affect us.  We can limit ourselves by saying, "Well, THAT didn't work so I will NEVER do that again!"  Or, "I tried that, it didn't work."  Or, "I had a bad experience with...(fill in the blank with your favorite whipping post) so I won't associate with those type of people."

Our stories can be pathways to hell.....


They can be stairways to the stars.

We can be like that brilliant young man, who somehow learned that without his stories he wouldn't be giving the commencement speech at Harvard.  I have no idea what his stories are, but I know what mine are.  And Livingston is right, without my stories I would not be where I am now, which is pretty close to the stars.

What are your stories?  Have you gleaned the nuggets and moved on?  Or have you decided never to do THAT again because it didn't work so well the first time around?  Have you explored the stories, done the inner work, forgiven and now live a life free of victimhood?  Or does life seem to be a series of one mishap after another, where you feel continuously victimized by the whims of the weather, other people, or whatever governmental institution you are currently dealing with?

We create our lives by our consciousness, what we focus on expands and what we resist persists.  If what is happening in  your life is not pleasing to you, it may be time to examine your stories and stop believing them.

KAL_9171 and persistently...we need to take a good hard look at ourselves.  I call this the practice of introspection.  Introspection has served me so well over the years.  In the beginning it allowed me to simply identify feelings.  I had them, everyone does, but mine had been shut down for so long it was impossible for me to feel them, or identify them when I did.  I had two default feelings:  anger and numbness.  Those  were defaults I installed myself in response to early childhood stuff.  I got to change those defaults later on in life, and I am so glad I did.  Life isn't very satisfactory when we can't identify what we are feeling.

Lately I've been thinking about defaults again.  Defaults are like beliefs:  we sometimes don't even know we have them, and yet, they are powerful things that have the tendency to shape and mold our very existence.  If life is happening and we aren't happy about the way it is happening, a good hard look at the default settings we have might serve us very well.

One such default setting is:  Life is hard.  It's supposed to be hard.  Mom and dad told us life was hard, so did society.  Hardship is the only way we gain strength and wisdom.

The only problem with such a default is that that we find ourselves continuously in a state of hardship.  Because we think life is supposed to be hard.  And we can pat ourselves on the back by looking at how much hardship we have overcome, how much strength we have because we have overcome SO MUCH!

I've done that.  And I have news for you.   It isn't true that life is supposed to be hard, and it isn't necessary either. That default, whether we programmed it ourselves or whether someone else installed it for us, is nonsense and it needs to be changed.

Changing a default can be done, awareness is the key and the first step.  What is your default?  I'd love to hear about it.