Today is an anniversary for me. It marks 5 years since becoming a Religious Science minister. They say that in order for something new to be born, one has to make room for it. This is the principle behind the decluttering movement. I always thought that I would be a photographer until the day I died. I’d be chasing babies and pets and families and ladies in white dresses with my camera, even if I had to hire someone to carry the equipment for me to do so. I did not realize it, but my soul was calling me to do and be something entirely different. I fought it. I became a Practitioner and was very happy there, with a teaching and coaching business. But soul said, “It isn’t enough. There is more!” And more stuff happened to make room for the new that wanted to be born. One mentor of mine called it a dismantling. I was not happy with the dismantling and complained and bitched and ranted about it every step of the way. It wasn’t just one loss, it was a series of them, and they kept coming at me over the space of about ten years, and I did the grieving process through out it all, with bargaining (maybe if I tried THIS it will work!), anger (at THEM), no small amount of depression, and finally, acceptance. It was almost impossible for me to deny the cold hard realities of what was happening so I didn’t do much of that. Today I live in a different place, both metaphorically and physically. I make my living in a different way, as a minister. I always thought photography would be my one passion in life, and it still is, but there is another. Did you know that there is always room for more love and passion? That passion is burning hot and strong, and I love it, and I am so grateful that I get to fulfill that passion. Recently I took a class, the first one since I graduated with a Masters Degree in Consciousness studies 5 years ago. In this class we got to do our personal mission and vision statements. I’ve always had a personal mission statement. This process expanded it a bit, and I discovered that my mission statement has changed a bit. Go figure! Life is good and very good and today I am grateful for all that has transpired, including the losses. And I am a glorious embodiment of Spirit, teaching others to be the same!
I have a vision for my life that began in 2003. Some people might call it a dream, but it isn't. Dreams are nebulous, they come to us in sleep. Vision, well, vision is powerful stuff. Leading a vision led life is fulfilling, but in my experience leading a vision led life sometimes takes persistence and courage. Persistence....meaning if you have a vision for your life, or for a certain area of your life, never give up on it. It took me almost 15 years to achieve this particular vision. I never gave up on it. I have a mentor who once asked me why I devoted so much energy to this particular vision. I told her it was because I believed that faith without works is dead. Having a vision means little if I am not willing to take action to achieve the vision. Also in my experience, if a vision is not manifesting, it means I have some inner work to do. Something in me is limiting the vision. That is where the courage comes in.
So what was this vision I developed in 2003? I wanted a long term committed intimate partnership with another human being. Like all visions, this wasn't just something that seemed like the next right thing to do. In fact, it made no sense at all. I'm not the kind of woman who thinks she needs a man in her life. I have a career, I'm self supporting, I have my own powertools, my own truck. I can fix stuff, and if I can't, I can hire someone to do it for me. I don't need a man to complete me, nor do I subscribe to the somewhat misogynistic ethic that says women must be with a man to be worthy. I'm not lonely, and I wasn't back in 2003. So...what was up with this particular vision? Where did it come from?
It came from where all visions come from, a deep connection with something that can see beyond the surface and that knows. It just knows. If you are a Star Wars fan, it is the Force. If you are religious, it is God. For me, it is an inner calling, a soul thing. Discovering my vision comes from a consistent practice of meditation and contemplation. And from listening to what comes when I ask.
This vision was no different, and if I am to be in integrity with myself, I must follow the vision. So, in 2003, when this particular vision became clear to me, I joined an online dating service. What followed was a series of comedic events, so disastrous at times that I could only shake my head and smile. So hurtful at times that I could only wonder and be sorry for people. I would stop my membership for a while, only to join another service a while later. I never gave up. I would immediately and automatically assess every man I met, wondering, "is he the one?" No one ever was. For almost 15 years.
For 30 years I've had a practice in place that allows me to go within and explore without judgement the things in me that are blocking me from my good. I knew there was something in me that was blocking this vision from occurring. I also knew that it is true that I attract who and what I am, so I strived to become what I wished for in a partner. I explored my own abilities to be intimate, my own abilities to share my life with another. I explored my beliefs as to whether I was truly worthy of such a partner, and changed beliefs when necessary. I never lost sight of my vision.
In two days I will participate in a ritual that signals that this particular vision has manifested. In two days I am getting married. I'm excited, grateful, in love, and somewhat in awe at how this awesome man came into my life. The truth is he has been in my life for 40 years, but neither of us was ready for this step, until recently. He had the same vision by the way.
Why am I writing about this? Because I feel called to do so. It's a vision thing. I could tell you that the new year is coming up and that I've got some exciting opportunities for you, all of them having to do with leading a vision led life. But that's only a surface reason. I could share that I just enjoy writing about this stuff. I do. But that isn't the reason either. Mostly it is because I want others to experience the rewards of leading a vision led life, and if I share an example of what that looks like, maybe someone else will hear it, see it, get it, and want to know more. I hope that someone is you.
I hope you will explore my coaching packages, here. Or maybe you will subscribe to this blog. Not only will you recieve helpful and thought provoking stuff regularly but you will also receive notifications of upcoming events like retreats and workshops. I hope you will join this growing family of people who are committed to leading vision led lives.
Vision allows us to move into greater stuff for our life. Living without vision simply means showing up for life, day after day, taking what comes. That saying that we perish without vision is true, so come join me and vision for your greatest life ever in 2018!