Last night I had a wonderful conversation with a male friend. We tend to talk about deep stuff sometimes. In this conversation, he shared with me that when he was a young man, he was told that men prove their manhood on the battlefield and their masculinity in the bedroom.
Sigh. I think that is so sad.
Fortunately, he said he has realized that the values he had as a result of those kinds of messages could be changed.
And that is the topic of my post today. We get messages from lots of places growing up. Parental units, society, religion. Much of the time, especially when we were younger, we incorporate those messages into our own consciousness. They become the foundation for our values. Most of us never even consider that those values may not be our own. We never investigate whether they hold true for us.
Why should we bother? Why not just continue on through life holding those same values? Well, you could. Unless you've got some lack, or some limitation in your life. Then, the place to look for ultimate change is not the outside circumstances, but at what your beliefs and values are. Change those, and the outer circumstances will follow along.
When I'm working with a client and I suggest that the belief may need some changing, they then ask, how do I do that? I can be as easy as setting an intention to do, or....it can take some conscious and constant reminding. I have found that awareness is a great beginning, and once the awareness is there, if there is willingness to consider that a belief system needs changing, then all of a sudden new ideas begin to appear.
Change your thinking to change your life. It is that simple.
Today, my friend knows that his manhood and his masculinity are proven by how he treats others and he has demonstrated much better relationships as a result of his changed beliefs.