I was having a chat yesterday with someone who asked me if I had any regrets in life. Actually, what she asked me was if I planned to go public with my regrets.
The question stopped me and I had to think a bit before I responded, because I wanted to respond truthfully.
The truth is, I have no regrets. She probed a bit: wasn't there anything that made me cringe when I looked back on it?
There are some things in my life, some behaviors and beliefs, that I have decided I would like to change because they no longer serve me, but there are no regrets.
So I ask you, dear reader, are there any regrets? They say that when people are close to making their ultimate transition, the one most call death, that the one thing that matters are the regrets. Things they wish they hadn't done, or things they wish they would have done. Are there any of those for you? Do you look back on some of the times or events in your life with shame? Or is there something you have always wanted to do? What's on your bucket list? Why wait till you are on your deathbed to look back with regret? Take care of that stuff now!
Here's my take on it: shame is a waste of time and energy. And it only creates more of the same. Stop it. I tell my clients they must take the word "should" out of their vocabulary. Getting rid of shame involves a two step process: focusing on something different and looking at our part with open and non-judgmental eyes. Do these two practices simultaneously and you will have a wildly joyful life.
Focusing on something different involves training the mind, and that is the subject for the next post. Looking at our part with open and non-judgmental eyes involves a process that may seem difficult, but really is life affirming.
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