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What are you painting on the canvas of your life?

A year ago today I received my ordination from Centers for Spiritual Living.  It was a long road to get there:  8 years of education plus 4 years of working “in the field” after graduating with a Masters Degree in Consciousness Studies.  When I look at the photos of me in my memories feed, I see someone who looks tired.  I was doing what that lady in the commercial for anti depression meds was doing, walking around with a paper smiley face to cover up what was really going on.  I had experienced so many changes and losses in such a short time during that period of my life and I was weathering it as best as I could.  I’m strong.  That is a character asset that has served me well many times in my life, allowing me to persevere and sometimes even succeed, no matter what.  But the shadow side of that is that I became accustomed to only being able to succeed when I felt a need to be strong to stand against what life was dishing out. That is not a good way to live.  Today I’ve come out the other end of that journey.  The active grieving is done, the PTS (I refuse to call a normal reaction to shit happening a disorder) is lessening in frequency and intensity, and today I have learned that I can succeed without hardship.  I can and do succeed just because that’s the natural and normal progression of things. And today the sun is shining and it isn’t snowing, for the first time in weeks!  So today I will bundle up and venture out into the world to continue painting on the canvas of my life.  As Ernest Holmes said, “we must all become artists in living,” and today I am an artist painting a bright and glorious canvas!

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I don't know why I'm always somewhat amazed when it happens....again.

Maybe your mind works like mine does.  I get these inner shifts in my thinking, these inner awarenesses that are different.  They constitute inner rearrangements in how I perceive life, and result in differences in the way I react to life.  The amazement comes because while it takes me time to be able to voice what is occurring, I will always find in my studies an author who so eloquently speaks what I am feeling and experiencing.  This time around it is Parker J. Palmer, in his book "Let Your Life Speak."

It is both heartwarming, because I learn that I am not alone, and encouraging, because I realize I'm on the right track.

In the quote he is speaking to not looking backward and attempting to fix or control or somehow undo it when a door has shut, but instead to look forward to the opportunities inherent in such a situation.

In the last few years I've experienced a number of doors closing.  And some part of me knew that while it was important to properly grieve the losses (and I have) another also part knew that when the time was right, the openings and new opportunities would come.  I also knew I had some work to do, and I've done the work.  And new opportunities are beginning to present themselves.

If you have had a door (or doors) close, take heart.  I know it isn't pleasant right now, in this in-between place I call the hallway.  And there is work to be done for sure.  Inner work, and most likely some grieving.  Do not attempt to deny or bypass this work or the grieving.  That will simply ensure that you stay stuck.  Do the work and I promise you the new life that presents itself will be amazing.

 

DSC_4341I’m sure you’ve all heard the analogy of the caterpillar turning into a butterfly. It is a perfect analogy, a very good metaphor for us in our lives. The caterpillar goes about it’s business and then one day, change begins. It begins to build a cocoon, and then inside the cocoon, becomes literally mush, a messy gooey lump of mush. This process continues, until one day a beautiful butterfly bursts forth to fly and frolic in the breezes. The caterpillar does not fight the process, nor does it try to rush it. And if someone, in their misguided compassion, tries to help it, the caterpillar will die. It needs to be left alone to do the process it was meant to do. ...continue reading "5 Steps to Turn into a Butterfly"

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I was having a conversation with someone recently about loss.

She, like so many others, has experienced a lot of loss in her life in the last few years.  Her story is much like many I hear:  careers up in smoke, homes foreclosed, marriages unable to survive, sickness; these are only a few examples of what I know has happened at almost epidemic levels.

I happen to think that such losses can be doorways into new and wonderful opportunities.  All the time I hear stories like this:  the man who lost his job, and took the opportunity to start a business doing something he always wanted to do.  Or the woman who lost her home and moved to a place she always wanted to live in, but didn't feel as if she could because she was tied to her home.

It isn't necessary to experience great losses to make such changes in our lives, but if you have experienced such a loss, it may be time to look at it as an opportunity.  However, in order to do so some work may have to be done.    Properly grieving the loss, self inquiry, faith building and intention setting are just some of the things that might need to be done in order to move forward.

If you've experienced a loss of any kind and feel as if you haven't yet recovered from it, I encourage you to attend a workshop being held this Sunday, March 23, at 12:30 pm at the Center for Spiritual Living in Carson City, NV.  Ramona Goodge, a recent graduate of Holmes Institute and a good friend of mine, will be giving this workshop and is also the guest speaker at CSLCC that same morning at 10:30.  She will be revealing some healthy strategies to dealing with loss.

The address of CSLCC is 1927 North Carson Street in Carson City, NV.  CSLCC is located in the Frontier Plaza, on the corner of Winnie Lane and North Carson.  Again, the talk begins at 10:30, the workshop at 12:30.  And a bonus:  a potluck in between!  Both are being offered on a love offering basis.  I hope to see you there!