"A lot of doorways are going to open for you, just don't stand behind them when they open." Rev. Dr. Gil Linsley, www.gillinsley.com
My dad told me that just yesterday. We were sitting there talking about endings and beginnings and possibilities and out came that beautiful quote.
I think it is awesome, and very appropriate for many of us today.
I was talking with a client the other day who was very upset because she didn't know what was going to happen in her life. Not only that, she didn't know what she wanted to happen, but it was more important to her to know what was going to happen than to not know.
Having been in a hallway...when a door closes and the new ones haven't yet presented themselves or opened....more times than I can count, I am in a place where being in a hallway is actually quite comfortable. I don't have to know what is going to happen. While I plan, and set goals, and have ideas, and take action, I can rest comfortably in the unknown, knowing that things always work out for my highest good, even if I'm not aware of it at the time.
I took an informal survey last Sunday of my congregation at the Center for Spiritual Living Carson City. About 75% of them said they were in a hallway. All of those said they were uncomfortable being there. If you are in a hallway, or you have a decision to make and don't know which way to turn, here are some helpful tools to facilitate movement and transformation.
1. Introspection. Turn your attention away from what is happening "out there." Trying to control the people in your life is like trying to make pigs fly, it just pisses off the pigs and doesn't work. Turn within, ask yourself some hard questions: what do I believe? What do I think of myself? Am I generally optimistic or pessimistic? Am I full of fear? What does fear look like to me?
2. Write down what you would like to see happen. Do a best case scenario, a worst case scenario, and a most likely scenario. I've always had some fun with this exercise, even in the midst of uncertainty and sadness, because my worst case scenarios are usually so ridiculous as to be laughable.
3. Leave some room for flexibility. No matter what your spiritual beliefs are, I have found that leaving room for flexibility is a great way to allow for my greatest good. If I have things planned down to the gnat's ass not only am I going to be frustrated because they don't go as planned, but I've left no room for that wonderful Force that some call the Universe, some call God, to work in my life.
4. Talk it over. Bouncing ideas off a friend can help, as long as that friend is strong enough to not enable you, and is confident enough to voice their observations in a kind and loving way.
5. Don't take advice. This stuff is yours alone, no one else can stand in your shoes, and no one else is equipped to tell you what to do. Good friends and good therapists will not give advice, but will instead suggest ways to allow you to get to your own decisions that serve you best.