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Last night I had a wonderful conversation with a male friend.  We tend to talk about deep stuff sometimes.  In this conversation, he shared with me that when he was a young man, he was told that men prove their manhood on the battlefield and their masculinity in the bedroom.

Sigh.  I think that is so sad.

Fortunately, he said he has realized that the values he had as a result of those kinds of messages could be changed.

And that is the topic of my post today.  We get messages from lots of places growing up.  Parental units, society, religion.  Much of the time, especially when we were younger, we incorporate those messages into our own consciousness.  They become the foundation for our values.  Most of us never even consider that those values may not be our own.  We never investigate whether they hold true for us.

Why should we bother?  Why not just continue on through life holding those same values?  Well, you could.  Unless you've got some lack, or some limitation in your life.  Then, the place to look for ultimate change is not the outside circumstances, but at what your beliefs and values are.  Change those, and the outer circumstances will follow along.

When I'm working with a client and I suggest that the belief may need some changing, they then ask, how do I do that?  I can be as easy as setting an intention to do, or....it can take some conscious and constant reminding.  I have found that awareness is a great beginning, and once the awareness is there, if there is willingness to consider that a belief system needs changing, then all of a sudden new ideas begin to appear.

Change your thinking to change your life.  It is that simple.

Today, my friend knows that his manhood and his masculinity are proven by how he treats others and he has demonstrated much better relationships as a result of his changed beliefs.

I have learned that the old saying is true:  an unexamined life is worth very little.

Is your life working for you?  Do your days go smoothly, and things seem to fall into place easily?  If so, good for you!  But if life seems like a constant struggle, or you get sick all the time, or it seems like there is just one road block after another getting in the way of what you want to do, or there is a lot of drama, then consider that change begins within, and it begins with examining what your attitudes, beliefs and thoughts are up to.  For that is where the circumstances of your life are formed.  Things do not change from the outside in.  They change from the inside out.  In other words, you can't move, or switch jobs, or switch partners, and think that your life is going to change.  You have still brought you with you, wherever you go and whatever you do.  The change must begin within you, and it begins with examining what is going on in there.

Examine your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes, without shame, blame or guilt, and I guarantee your life will improve.  And if you want help doing so, contact me!

 

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I am a huge believer in the Law of Attraction.  This Law says basicallly that we attract what we put out there.  Like other Laws, this Law is no respecter of what we do, or what color we are, or any other outside appearances.  It doesn't say we attract what we wish for, or even what we affirm.  What it really does is bring to us in accordance with our beliefs.  And expectations, like thoughts and feelings and emotions, are very much based in our beliefs.

Some like to say that expectations are premeditated resentments.  Those who subscribe to this tend to lower their expectations so they don't get upset about things. ...continue reading "Expectations are NOT premeditated resentments!"

11709981_10207274755486543_7958070936812802295_oI've been doing a lot of thinking lately on how the basic laws of life work.  You may have heard about one of those laws:  it's called the Law of Attraction.  Almost every spiritual, scientific, philosophical and psychological discipline throughout the ages has either proven or spoken of this law.

It is powerful, and it works.  It works even if you don't believe in it, because it will simply honor your intention of disbelief and not work. ...continue reading "Three steps to activate the Law of Attraction in your life"

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Thank you to Jeff Anderson for this quote. There are traditional ways to refer to a process which allows us to open up to our highest good. In traditional language, words like powerless and surrender are used. For me, these words evoke a return to victimhood and I do not resonate with them. But the concept is powerful. This quote allows for an opening. To let go of resistance to the total openness of who I am implies that anytime I am feeling resistance, a fight, a nudge that says, "something needs to change here," I can acknowledge that perhaps the way I've been doing and being is no longer working, and then I can contemplate and allow for a new way of being and doing. This is why contemplation is so important in our lives, and this is why I am doing a workshop that will give you some new ideas about incorporating contemplation into your life. Won't you join me on Friday, April 17, at 6 pm, at the Center for Spiritual Living in Carson City, to explore this together?

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Call it Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or call it ancient wisdom, but I have learned that in order to change the outer circumstances of my life I must change my thinking.

I know there are some people in this world who believe that this simply isn't so, because I've met them.  But I've tested this concept in my life many times, and I've read enough literature, and now science has proved it.

Consider:

  • The Bible tells us that as we believe, we will receive.
  • Ernest Holmes, founder of Centers for Spiritual Living,  has dozens of books, all talking about changing our thinking to change our lives.  Here is a quote from The Art of Life, "Since you are fundamentally a mental  being, you can think yourself into being unhappy and depressed or you can think yourself into being glad."
  • Quantum physics:  I am not a scientific sort of person, but in my quantum physics class I learned that there is scientific proof that our thoughts have power.  The Observer Effect comes to mind, where it was proved that scientists effect the outcome of their experiments simply by observing them.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been tested and developed through many scientific studies as a very effective way to change one's life, and it begins with changing your thinking.

If you are having problems in your life, or you wish to change a circumstance in your life, or simply want to open up to  new possibilities in  your life,  the place to begin is with your thoughts.

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