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I found myself saying this today to someone, "Sometimes the best decisions are the most difficult ones to make."

Today I had a wedding scheduled.  I showed up at the appointed place and time and proceeded to wait for my couple.  A man drove up alone but he waved at me and so I knew it was my groom.  I greeted him with a smile and a question, "what did you do with your lovely bride to be?"

He responded, "We decided not to get married."

Oh.

Dear.

In almost 30 years of doing weddings, this has only happened to me one other time.  It does happen, but rarely.  I shared with this man the story of the other time it had happened, in the hopes that it would allow him to feel a bit better, knowing he wasn't the only one to experience this.  While he wasn't talking much, it was clear to me that he was upset. ...continue reading "Sometimes the Best Decisions are the Most Difficult"

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Are you busier than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs?

I'm writing to you today  to tell you about a wonderful new workshop I've created called "Action and Contemplation:  A Beautiful Partnership."

I'm really excited about this workshop!  Somewhere along the line I learned that contemplation allows for more action, and action creates space for more contemplation.  It is a beautiful symbiotic relationship that has allowed me to experience life full on!

I quite frequently hear from people that they think I am very busy.  Some think I am too busy!  Would you believe it if I told you I was able to enjoy one hour of contemplation every day?  It's true!

Would you like to be able to do the same?  If so, join me on Friday night, April 17, from 6-8 pm, at the Center for Spiritual Living Carson City, 3579 Highway 50 East, Unit 301.   For a cost of $25, you can learn:

  1. How to accomplish everything you want to accomplish, every day
  2. How to carve out at least 20 minutes of quiet time, every day
  3. How to experience that fully alive feeling, every day

Call me at 530-906-9336 for more information, or to sign up.

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imageRecently I heard a story that I've been thinking about....a lot.

I just finished teaching a class called Prosperity Plus at the Center for Spiritual Living in Carson City.  This incredibly powerful material was put together by Mary Morrissey, and my students experienced many shifts in their thinking, some were subtle, some were more like the "wack-upside-the-head" variety.

I also experienced a shift that I want to share with you.

As a minister in New Thought, one of the things I get to do is take ancient wisdom, such as the Bible, and translate it metaphorically so that people can hear and understand the lessons, and apply them in their lives.  The Bible was written by many people, in the language of their times.  Back then they taught in metaphor.  The Bible was never meant to be taken literally, the mistranslations have not served us well.  I'm not an expert on the Bible, I learn new things all the time, and I learned something new in this class.

Mary Morrissey told us about the David and Goliath story in the Bible. You know, the story of the little shepherd and the giant?  David ended up slaying the giant, but what isn't often told is the inner process he used to do that.

See, we live in what is called a "condition based world."  This means we place more importance on our outer conditions, and we base our decisions and our actions on those conditions.

It's backwards.

There is an inner world, which is so much more important than the outer.  This is the world of our thoughts, beliefs and dreams.

David was able to slay the giant in spite of the outer conditons:  Goliath was huge, powerful, mean and had a lot of weapons.  He was also arrogant.  David was small, had only one weapon, and he refused to buy into the common fears of the time, that the giant was too big to slay and he certainly couldn't do it with his one little weapon, a sling shot.

But David wasn't into condition based thinking.  He knew the power of his thoughts.  He had heard that the king would give a castle, freedom from taxes and the princess to anyone who slay the dragon.  David heard about the princess and kept his eye on the prize.  All he could think about was the princess.  He kept his eye on the prize.  He would listen to the naysayers who told him it couldn't be done.  He kept his eye on the prize.

And he slayed the dragon.

Have you ever had anyone tell you it can't be done?  I have.  Very recently as a matter of fact.  I listened to them tell me it couldn't be done, for a little while, then I told them I didn't want to hear it anymore.  See, I've got my eye on the prize and someone telling me it can't be done is not the direction I want to take my thoughts.  I've got my eye on the prize.

Conditions would indicate that what I am trying to do can't be done.  But I don't live in condition based thinking.  I keep my eye on the prize, and my thoughts are more powerful than conditions.  So I keep my thoughts tuned to the prize.

And I know that if I keep doing this, what some told me wasn't possible will happen.  It already is beginning to happen!  I just need to keep my eye on the prize, just like David did.

Are you living in condition based thinking?  Do you think you can't do that because you were told, or because conditions would indicate you can't?  Or are you keeping your eye on the prize, knowing that your thoughts are much more powerful than any conditions?

I'd love to hear your stories about how you got the prize!

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Grumpy much?

Being a grump really doesn't feel very good, nor does it serve us very well.  There is a reason for that age old saying, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

Setting aside, for the moment, the question of why one would want to catch flies anyway, let's examine this concept a bit.

First of all, we all know that what we embody, what we be, what we do, what we put out there.....is what we attract.  Right?  If you don't know this, or don't believe it, try an experiment.  Go to the grocery store and be rude.  Steal a parking place, don't make way in the aisles, take cuts at the check out line, and whatever you do.....don't smile at anyone.  Check out how that feels, and check out how people reacted to you.

Now go back in the store.  Smile and make eye contact at everyone you encounter.  Help a short person reach the item on the top shelf.  Let the person behind you in the check out line with just a couple of items go in front of you.  Check out how that feels, and check out how people reacted to you.

If that isn't enough to prove the concept, do your research.  Don't just check out Law of Attraction sites, which can admittedly be biased.  Check out some quantum physics.  Check out the "observer effect."

It really is true, we attract what we put out there.  In terms of feeling grumpy,  simply smiling could change all that.

If you did the experiment above, you've already seen that smiling will completely change the way people act towards you.

Now try this:

Smile.  All the time.  Even if you don't feel like it.  People will wonder what you are up to.  And I guarantee it will make you feel better.

And try counting how many smiles you see in a set period of time.  Go ahead, count those smiles!  For an hour a day.  Write down how many you get.  Do this every day for a week.

Then see how you feel.

It's true:  we can change our feelings by smiling.  It's a behavior modification technique that is simple, easy to do, and very effective.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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status quo or status goI am so pleased to announce my winter schedule of workshops!  The series begins with a brand new workshop!  Although I created the concept of this workshop several years ago, I never completed it until now.  It is designed to move you from being stuck to unstuck, from the same old same old to the new and exciting!  If you are ready, come join us!

The series is designed so that the material on one workshop has a natural progression flowing into the next, although you can take them individually.  And if you feel like you need some more individual care and work, I'm offering a discount on packages.  Invest in all three workshops and save $15, invest in all three plus a package of six sessions for a total of $495  and save and whopping $90!  Call me now at 530-906-9336 as I have a limited number of sessions I am offering at this price, and seating for the workshops is also limited.

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imageThere is a balance between doing and being in our lives.  Another way to put that is that in order to be most effective with the stuff we do in our lives, we need to take time out for stillness.

Stillness doesn't have to mean doing nothing.  Many of the clients I work with cry out in dismay at the very thought of simply being still.   But I believe stillness is a very necessary component to a happy life.  When I begin counseling work with a client, one of the first things I do is find out what practices they use to be still.  Very often, implementing a practice such as journaling or meditation is all that is needed to restore a life filled with chaos to one filled with peace.

If we look to Mother Nature as an example, we will see that there are periods of calm, and periods of...well, not so calm.  We will see trees lying dormant in winter, looking almost dead, yet when spring comes all of a sudden there is a rush of activity on those same trees.  If we look to religion as an example, we are told that there is a time to tear down and a time to build.   Physically, we must rest every day, for about 8 hours, or risk reduced effectiveness in our doings.  Continue with a lack of sleep and eventually psychosis sets in.  Psychologically, we need a good, balanced combination of laughter and solemnity, play time and work time, or we risk a feeling of perhaps not fitting in, or feeling like something is missing from our lives.

Most of us, in our active lives, might tend to ignore the need for stillness and quiet.  Doing so prevents us from enjoying all the beauty and wonders that life has to offer.

We are approaching a new year.  It is a time of resolutions and a determined effort to begin anew for most of us.  And yet studies show that resolutions made at this time of year are rarely kept for very long.  Instead of making a resolution, make a committment.  Commit to spending a period of time, every day, in stillness.  Even if you are a mother with children who follow you to the bathroom, you can still find at least a couple of minutes during which you can breathe.....simply breathe.

How do you practice stillness in your life?

 

 

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I've decided to initiate a series of posts called Wellness Wednesday!  Every Wednesday I will be sharing a quote, or an idea, designed to facilitate wellness.  I hope you will subscribe and join in the fun by submitting ideas or quotes of  your own.

Here is today's quote.  "if you think long enough about what you do not want in your life, you may become depressed or anxious."  The quote is by Jennice Vilhauer, PhD, from the book "Think Forward to Thrive."

What do you think about this quote?  When you examine the overall pattern of your thoughts, do you find that perhaps you might be thinking more about what you don't want then what you do want?

Here's an example:  I don't want to get sick!  Instead, direct your thoughts to good health.  Or, you may get up in the morning listing all the things you think are wrong with  your life.  The reality is, some of those wrong things might just be the result of skewed perception on your part, or it may just be that you are looking at the glass as half empty rather than half full.

What comes up for you when you read this?

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Call it Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or call it ancient wisdom, but I have learned that in order to change the outer circumstances of my life I must change my thinking.

I know there are some people in this world who believe that this simply isn't so, because I've met them.  But I've tested this concept in my life many times, and I've read enough literature, and now science has proved it.

Consider:

  • The Bible tells us that as we believe, we will receive.
  • Ernest Holmes, founder of Centers for Spiritual Living,  has dozens of books, all talking about changing our thinking to change our lives.  Here is a quote from The Art of Life, "Since you are fundamentally a mental  being, you can think yourself into being unhappy and depressed or you can think yourself into being glad."
  • Quantum physics:  I am not a scientific sort of person, but in my quantum physics class I learned that there is scientific proof that our thoughts have power.  The Observer Effect comes to mind, where it was proved that scientists effect the outcome of their experiments simply by observing them.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been tested and developed through many scientific studies as a very effective way to change one's life, and it begins with changing your thinking.

If you are having problems in your life, or you wish to change a circumstance in your life, or simply want to open up to  new possibilities in  your life,  the place to begin is with your thoughts.

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I woke up this morning, and as is my usual practice, looked out my window to see what Mother Nature was up to this fine morning. I noticed that a storm had moved in while I slept, and was hovering over the mountains west of me. This is the normal weather pattern here in my neck of the woods, and I wondered if the storm would make it over the mountains to gives us valley folks some moisture. As I sat and contemplated all the metaphorical meanings of this, a rainbow appeared! It was almost magical, one minute it was not there and the next minute it was.

I love rainbows. To me, they are a reminder to always look for the good. For there is good in every situation. Even in the midst of stormy times, there is good.

Using Mother Nature as a metaphor is a valuable practice for me. Storms have to come. They provide much needed moisture. In the mountains they provide snow, which brings visitors for ski season, which bring jobs. In this valley, the moisture from the storms facilitates the vast acreage of pasture land here, which feeds the cows and horses, which provide jobs, recreation and food. People like to complain during the storms, but I stopped doing that since I realized the storms were a metaphor for life. Storms are necessary for life to proceed.

We all have storms in our lives. Changes, loss and illness, all are the storms of life, and rainbows cannot form unless there are storms. So when I see a storm, I always look for the rainbow. Likewise, when I have a storm in my life, I always look for the good.

In this way, I can, even in the midst of sadness or anger or any of the other feelings I might be experiencing, know that there is good in this experience, and there will continue to be good. There will always be a rainbow.

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minicard_template_usLately I've had some clients that are extremely intelligent.  We're talking genius IQ level here.  Being smart has a lot of benefits, but sometimes we can be too smart for our own good.  Smart people tend to think....and think.....and think.....and many times the ways in which they think don't serve them too well. They are consumed with negativity, lack of confidence, doubt and all those other patterns of thinking that just don't contribute to a higher quality of life.

If you find yourself in the category of perhaps being too smart for  your own good, here are some things to try:

  • Remember that you can change the pattern of your thinking.  This isn't easy, it is like changing any other habit, it takes conscious effort at first.  You simply redirect your thinking, as you would the attention of a child who is misbehaving.  Every time you have a thought that doesn't really serve you, move the focus of your thoughts from negativity to something more positive.
  • Try not to be such a smarty pants.  In other words, try to move from the intellectual to the emotional or feeling tone.  Or, to put it another way, try to get out of your head and into your heart.  Again, this will take conscious effort at first.
  • Meditate.  Meditation is about focus, not about clearing your mind.  Repeated attempts to focus your mind will train the mind, so that it behaves better.  Focus on a word, such as the one in the photo above, or a mantra, or a phrase, or do a walking meditation where you remain totally mindful of your surroundings and the placement of your feet.

I'd love to hear about how you turn your thoughts from the negative to the positive!